Brett Darnesh

Several years ago, I started asking a number of people who were single and in relationships about what they wanted from an intimate relationship and what an intimate relationship meant for them.  I found a surprising number of people had little clarity about it. The one thing that became clear in these conversations was that they wanted a richer experience in relationships they were having and in the sex they were experiencing.

This striking discovery led me to move from general counselling and to dive deeply into relationship and sexuality coaching, learning as much as I could and completing a lot of powerful workshops along the way. These experiences have enabled a deep understanding for what it takes to enter into truly fulfilling relationships and sexual experiences that enrich our whole life.  I really love coaching people in finding this place for themselves.


Relationship and Sexuality Coaching

I offer relationship and sexuality coaching to give fresh approaches sexuality, relationships and to being alive. These approaches enable moving out of situations coloured by our past and into freely living the life you deeply desire.  I encourage you to start feeling into each moment so you are feeling more embodied, and to start experiencing more love in your relationships and more vital and creative in life.  By connecting with our felt senses, we experience greater intuition and flow in our day to day experiences as well as greater depth in our sexuality and intimacy. I also offer two day personal retreats in the beautiful Coffs Coast region which is just perfect if you are wanting to explore your relating and sexuality away from the busyness of modern day living.

Here are some topics that may be covered in coaching sessions:

  • Alignment in relationship
  • Unconditional love
  • Deepening self awareness and connection with others
  • Looking at your fear responses in relationships and how to respond rather than react to situations
  • Finding purpose in your relating
  • Conscious separation and co-parenting
  • Understanding the dynamics of sexual energy flow
  • Relationship styles – open, polyamorous, monogamous, swinging, fluid and transitioning
  • Multi-orgasmicness – this means men too
  • Conscious sexual polarities  – increasing the charge !
  • Living in the present moment within an intimate relationship and releasing the past
  • Shifting old patterns or stuckness
  • Increasing intimacy through rituals, tantric practices, and being transparent
  • Expanding sexual experiences – energetic orgasms, female ejaculation, valley orgasms
  • Sexual difficulties and how to overcome them
  • Spiritual sexual relationships
  • Shifting into a deeper paradigm of intimacy and relating

Tantric Body De-armouring

Experiential coaching is varied and body oriented, enabling subtle energetic experiences, direct and subtle energy de-armouring. By getting to know our own body energy system we can experience deeper intimacy and more harmony in our life.  It is a key to feeling our intuition clearly and brings greater awareness and empathy of others. Before any de-­armouring begins, thorough conversations and evaluation are required to ascertain a participant’s current health status, clarity around boundaries and intention for the bodywork.  Experiential sessions can vary from gentle to dynamic and evolve differently depending on your individual needs and desires. With ongoing sessions as you change, deepen, and explore, your boundaries will always be honoured and respected. You will not be asked to go beyond what you are comfortable with. In every session you are welcome and supported to say NO at any stage of experiential sessions. You will be encouraged to reclaim your power in this way.  Being supported to define your own boundaries through processes that help connect you with what feels right for you in each moment,  you will be able to clearly define and state your boundaries – and know that they will be respected.  If you are aware you have troubles with personal boundaries these can be worked on in a safe and gentle way.  Being able to clearly say NO and even practising saying NO can be a very healing opportunity.

After an initial talking session the types of experiential sessions may include:

  • Guided meditation, breath work, working with presence
  • Guided solo bodywork for releasing trauma and blockages
  • Energetic tantric bodywork
  • Subtle energy de-armouring
  • Deep tissue de-armouring
  • Sacred Spot Healing Ritual
  • Full body tantric massage
  • Emotional body image support
  • Re-storying the past to support moving beyond a survivor identity or re-integrate past in healthy ways

Coaching services are now available in the Gift Economy

Brett provides his services as a gift to you, he then trusts that you will in turn gift him with something that is fair and reasonable. The Gift Economy is based on mutual respect and gratitude. While money is gratefully accepted and is easily transferred into financial needs like paying rent and contributing to raising a family, other gifts may also greatly contribute in other ways. If you feel the services offered is worth more than you can afford at the time when you most need it, Brett is open to finding a time frame to return the gift to most suit you.


The gift economy represents a shift from consumption to contribution, transaction to trust, scarcity to abundance and isolation to community.

Charles Eisenstein

It’s important in the Gift Economy framework that the gift exchange feels wholesome and supportive to both parties.

A guide to the value of services offered

The typical price range for relationship coaching sessions is between $80 and $150 per hour session. In a Gift Economy you may pay less or you may pay more than this range depending on how you value the service and what your income is. There’s a difference in value of investment for a single parent on a low salary compared to someone with no dependants and a high income.   I don’t need to know your situation or reasons because I trust the Gift Economy in the way that things balance themselves.


The Step by Step process

1. Book a coaching session over the phone or by email.  Any non-monetary alternatives for contribution are discussed at this point.

2. I provide the coaching session

3.  You return a gift to the value that you felt you had received for the coaching service.  This can be in person or through paypal.


Session recommendations

A minimum of 1.5hrs is recommended for the first session as a lot is usually covered. I also recommend that a minimum of 1.5hr for ongoing couples sessions. Several concurrent sessions are usually the most effective for integrating new ways of being in relationships and with your sexuality.  There may also be some great benefits to move into experiential processes and bodywork that I also offer in conjunction with coaching.  For these sessions I recommend a minimum of 1.5 – 2 hrs. Contact Brett to book a session by phone, Skype or in person (Woolgoolga, NSW) 0416 298 296

Personal Retreat Services




Come to the Coffs Coast for your own personal 2 day retreat for singles and couples.  This focussed intensive while allowing time to  reflect in between sessions and delves deeply into the core aspects that you want to change about your relating and sexual life.

Coffs Harbour is half way between Sydney and Brisbane and is full of natural places to support healing and growth – from tranquil mountain rivers and rainforests to stunning nearby beaches. The region’s relaxed nature allows time away from the hustle and bustle of modern living. Book yourself into one of the many suitable accommodation options for staying and session work available from budget conscious to luxury. There are some great options for places on Airbnb (please ensure enough privacy – ie. not a room in someone’s house)

For private retreats I offer 8 hours of personal sessions over two days. The nature and focus of the sessions are guided by your personal needs and can include bodywork. The first session will provide the clarity of what the two days will delve into. There will time to reflect and relax into new ways of being in the world between each session.

For those choosing to fly to the region there is an Airport at Coffs Harbour, which by arrangement I can provide transport to and from your chosen accommodation.

Contact me for further information.

The value guideline for an 8 hour intensive retreat ranges from $600 to $1200. As an offer in the gift economy you may contribute outside of this range according to the value you received. This transaction is based on trust and gratitude.