It seems a little crazy to ask considering all the sexualized messages we are surrounded by in media, movies, music and the arts.  It is impossible to escape the commercialisation of sex in our culture.  In many ways, it is as if there is just too much focus on sex – enough already !!

Yet, I came across a survey about personal regrets of people aged 65 and over, and young people aged 20-30. At the top of the list for the older people is 70% regretted not having more sex in their life, this was followed by more travel and decisive career and relationship moves. The young people’s top regrets were related to material security – property, finances and politics.

Are we getting too caught up in issues of security on our way to our golden years and foregoing opportunities for more pleasure?

Another survey carried out by a condom manufacturing company revealed that 60% of people view sex as fun and enjoyable, and that only 44% of people are satisfied with their sex life. They identified some key areas driving satisfaction as stress free living, level of pleasure, frequency of sex with sufficient foreplay, level of intimacy and sexual adventurousness/variety.

When we consider the importance of how our well being is linked with our sex life and intimate relating, there is a glaring gap for many in contributing to our overall satisfaction of life.

It does indeed seem like we are not having enough sex, specifically high quality sex that leaves us satisfied in intimacy, our heart, soul and in our bodies as a whole.

5 tips for satisfying our sexual longings

  • Reduce stress through life style choices and by seeking support where we need it.
  • Communicate more vulnerably with our sexual partner, be honest and open.
  • Learn about each others pleasure sensitivity and how to expand it so it goes beyond the genitals and is felt deeply – mind, body and soul.
  • Prioritise high quality sexual experiences together, slow things down and indulge in each moment.
  • Be curiously innocent and explore sexual possibilities that bring you alive whole heartedly, rather than habitual short lived satisfactory experiences