Occasionally, I see advertisements for “calling in the one”. The general idea is to attract ‘the one’ into your life and live happily ever after. Sounds pretty enticing for someone who has a pattern of moving from one relationship to the next or has been single for much longer than they’d wish. I’d like to offer a slightly different worldview that recognises opportunities for deeply loving relationships are abundant.
You see, “calling in the one” carries subtle counter intentions. Consider that our beliefs shape our experience in the world to some extent as self-fulfilling prophecies. While there is nothing wrong with taking action towards something we desire, believing you need to actively call in the one, is likely to keep you busy and working hard at it. Secondly, the one, creates a sense of scarcity. There’s only one true love for me out of the nearly 7 billion people on the planet. What are the chances? The combination of scarcity and working hard for it, can create an unwitting belief that this is an impossible quest.
An alternative concept is that the universe is abundant, and there’s an abundance of opportunities for beautiful deeply loving relationships. Each opportunity is as unique and beautiful as a snowflake. There is no effort in being open to an abundance of love choices, all we need to do is notice and make choices. There is a sense of ease. Being open simply means allowing by being aligned with your desire. It also hands over the responsibility of an intimate other to show up over to the universe.
Imagine, you are that person who is open and recognises an abundance of love choices, and as if in a field of gorgeous wild-flowers you allow yourself to be drawn to one. You notice the unique beauty in this one flower. Having made a deep connection with someone and are feeling so grateful for the astonishing diversity of love and beauty in the world. Notice the other feelings that arise. If you are feeling fulfilled, joyful and loving, you are no longer in contradiction between your desire and beliefs. When you are open to the abundance of love choices, there is nothing left to do other than to lovingly rest here in this identity.
Perhaps this seems too much, too hard or even like an unrealistic fantasy to rest in such a different sense of who you are. If you’d been trying to ‘call in the one’ or simply given up on hopes for the scarcity of love, maybe as an experiment try adopting a version of yourself being open to an abundance of love choices just for one day. Carry out the experiment with a warm curiosity and just see what you notice. If you like the things you are noticing, perhaps adopt this way of being for a few more days.
The universe has a tendency to reflect back to us who we are choosing to be. A person taking on the consciousness that true love is scarce will have a difficult time seeing opportunities for intimacy, and a potential lover is unlikely to see them either. Things will tend to arrange themselves to reflect the reality we are living. Likewise, taking on the consciousness that there are abundant choices in love and intimacy, we’ll experience more of who we are choosing to be.